Pennies in a Bottle

Hey! Welcome to my blog!! Random fact, it is around 4am and I am wide awake. Why? Well, after a long heartfelt talk with a wise friend, I realize that I have too many pennies in a bottle. For me, this is a way to let it go.

No, this is not a sad story, or a sob blog.

This blog is about hope. It is about change. Yes, change. I have hope to change. You see, I have depression. I have let it run and ruin my life and I am frankly tired of not taking charge.

For those of you who don't know, depression is real. It is not some made up excuse to fail in life - or to get sympathy. It is a real pain, one that brings severe hurt to the individual who has it. I know it. I have experienced moments of darkness in my life where I felt a void in my being and a pain in my heart. I felt utter loneliness, even when I was surrounded by the most loving and caring people in the world. My family and my friends. I love my family, they are so kind and dear to me. My brother and sisters are my closest and most dear of friends. Yet, even so I was depressed. Change was hard for me, confidence in myself was nonexistent, and I became critical of my image based upon others perception of me.

I use past tense, but this very thing was just happening to me. Minutes ago, I was in that pain.

Again, I am not seeking sympathy. Merely, I am laying out the story. Paving the path, you could say, for what I want this blog to be about.

Change! Change and hope. That is the sunshine in my title. The bottle represents how I felt the need to bottle everything up and not talk about my feelings with anyone. I didn't want to be labeled as a complainer after all. Instead, I put on a smiling face to the world and kept myself emotionally held in reserve.

Why prayer? Because that is most fundamental to my very survival.

Now, as I write and post my blogs. I will not be sharing all my experiences with depression. For those who have it, they know how it is and don't need reminders. Rather, I will be using this blog as a way to share the good in life and help bring change. To remind that there is hope, that there is sunshine even in the darkest days.

So, reader, I welcome you and challenge you to be patient and bear with me on this. It will be a journey and one that I am new to.

Let's go on and forward - evermore!